Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
