woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
