Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
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he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
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But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one