Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
There r osticjed everywhere
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night