I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
19 Of The Most Epic “I Quit’ Stories Ever
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.