jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
Is This New Dating App Elitist…Or Genius?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me