you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically