So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize