I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize