I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
