can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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