You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
