I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
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