bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
