He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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