I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
These tits shall not be calmed
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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