so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
