It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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