and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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