he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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