Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
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