Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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