is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
