Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
