I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
