i don't like sucking hair
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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