member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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