Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
someone get that fucking seahorse.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
