I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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