I think I died a long time ago.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
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Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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