After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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