Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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