I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
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