Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
