dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Ambien. No doubt about it.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
