i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize