I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
