You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
