Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
