; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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