he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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