You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
