Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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