I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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