I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
