My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
