you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
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Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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