Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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