so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
