She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
