i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
