headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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