OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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