A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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