I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
