whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
You've changed since you got that strap on
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
