babies were throwing up all over the place
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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