Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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