Whats the glycemic index on semen?
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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