i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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